Masters---no fun for the Mrs.

Saturday, with a million things to do, I find myself sitting and watching the "Masters" with Keith. It started with, "maybe we'll see John". (where he has been sited in the past, usually at the 16Th hole.) He is there on one of his "programs", but no luck. Then I am totally drawn in by the two "young guns" that are leading. While Keith is watching technique---I am wanting to know specifics about them. Where are they from? How old?? I bet he hates his curly hair? Where's Tiger? Ohhhh, I bet he's mad. And what about Phil??? I hope his wife and mom are better. The announcer says "Se vie" was too ill to come from Spain. What's wrong with him? "Young Guns"???? Our youngest, Matthew, is twice their age. I tried golf. Took lessons with a female "pro" from who I learned at least some of the "terms". Then I decided to impress my son in law, John---who is a GREAT, "crossover" golfer, with many talents. I acted like I wanted him to teach me golf. We got the gear---of course I had golf clothes...and headed to the course. I took out a "driver" and placed my ball on the tee, positioned my hands---and looked at john. I asked him, "which way should I swing?" He looked at me with disbelief, threw his head back and laughed that wonderful laugh he has and told me, "Georgia, you're too afraid of getting your pumps dirty to golf. Short lived career where I pictured myself a "Nancy Lopez on tour. It was HOT on the course and I thought a moment and said---"you're Right John. I'm too young to golf." Now, WHAT DID YOU AND GEOFFREY DO WITH THE ANTIQUE CLUBS I HAD IN MY GARAGE????